Bye, 2012!

2012. What a year! It was certainly my favourite and yours. Barack Obama made gay marriage compulsory, Nottingham Forest got to the top of t...

A Christmas Kennel.

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin. This is a story set at Christmas time and it is also the story of Nancy. Nancy is real. I ...

Tofu Fighter.

One of the most annoying preconceptions that people have about vegans is that we're all sexy. Look, it's nice that you all think I...

Your Tworoscope 2.

Time to have your Tworoscope read...  ARIES: You receive a phone call in the post from a tall, dark stranger's ugly friend. He shouts ...

Kill List.

It's all lists, isn't it? Everything is a fucking to-do list. Especially at this time of year. What's wrong with lying in bed al...

Wiped Out.

There's an incredible feeling you get when you swim the English Channel. It's not the people cheering or the medals that make you fe...

What Lies Beneath?

Everyone has secrets. Everyone. Every single person you have ever met has that one horrible, shocking thing that would kill them if you knew...