Take five.

Last week I went to see a play. That's the sort of fate that should never befall anyone. No rapist, murderer or TV executive deserves to...

Leggy Come Home.

I have made a terrible mistake. In a way, that's always been the point of this blog. I make terrible mistakes so that you don't have...

The Light's Not On.

I blame the messenger. I always blame the messenger. I mean, look at him. He's got stupid messenger hair and a fat hand. I hate him. It...

It's Like This.

Someone asked me the other day "What DO you like?" after I said that I didn't like 30 Rock. I know I'm the only person in ...

Gents Review.

One of my favourite things to do is go to the toilet. Two of my least favourite things are the public and men. You can therefore imagine my ...

Brown Waste.

"Ah, shit! I've been recommissioned!" These are depressing words for any actor, writer or viewer to express or hear. Yes, you ...

Travel Sickness

It's the train's fault, not the passengers. All those times that I've been furious with pig-ignorant half-people who shout and f...

Damned Foreigners.

One thing that Thailand definitely has is good manners. Pretty much every Thai person could be a member of Polite Club. They are warm, helpf...