She Sells Sanctimony.

There are only two things that really get on my nerves (there aren't, there are billions) and those things are religion and shit documen...

I Have A Bad Feeling About This.

I haven't been blogging much recently and for very good reason. Not fuck not nothing has happened. I mean, I got a new vacuum cleaner bu...

Swell.

So now I have a big foot. I mean that's what I really need; a big foot. What next? Fat hands? Massive ear? Huge penis? That would just b...

River Failure.

Sometimes I don't really like living in Lewisham. I'm very lucky in that I live two minutes from Ladywell train station and my stree...

(v) Denotes Very Annoying.

There are a lot of things that can stop you being vegan. Even buying a pair of jeans isn't always a vegan thing. Jeans makers insist on ...

Unsomnia.

I went to see Inception and now I have an opinion of the whole of mankind. You either hate Inception or you're a fucking idiot. Obviousl...

An Evil Man From Austria.

I mean there are pricks are there are PRICKS. This guy I saw on a train in Vienna is not a prick. He is a PRICK. You may have detected a fai...

Mo' Zart, Mo' Blues.

I've been away for a few days and, just before I went, I felt like I really needed it. Most of the comedians on Twitter had turned on po...

A Flush of Blood.

Last night, I got bitten by a toilet. What is it with me and toilets? I do nothing but give them respect but they either refuse to let me he...

Back To This.

So, I'm back from Edinburgh and what has happened? Well, I wasn't welcomed home, that's for sure. As soon as I walked through t...

It's Only a Couple of Inches.

Men are taller than women. That is what my recent study has revealed. Since the Edinburgh Fringe ended I have found myself with time on my ...