Ill Communication.

Do not EVER use the Quiet Coach on a train. It is the loudest place on Earth. It's as if every single evil bastard moron that goes into ...

Toilet's Revenge.

Someone on Twitter recently remarked that I was obsessed with shit. I pooh-poohed the comment thinking nothing could be further from the tru...

Bless.

The best part of my few days in Doha was that it was the complete opposite of a normal weekend working away with comedians. I mean, obviousl...

Putting the DOH! into Doha.

So what did I do on my weekend? Well, I warmed up a TV show. I've done this a fair bit over the years but normally it's for panel ga...

On Your Bike.

I had a good day yesterday. I realise that that very statement ruins the ethics and morals of this blog but it can’t just be ignored. The we...

Low Society.

You can't buy class. You can have all the money in the world but class is something you're just born with. Or you learn. Or is point...

The Tao of Shit.

Yes, I did enjoy myself at the weekend. Is that such a crime? I had a lot of fun but as with every single time I start to enjoy myself it ha...

Band Camp.

I went to Butlins for the weekend. Don't worry, it was all very ironic and clever and smug. All Tomorrows Parties took over the poor, th...

Blood and Rears.

I have piles. Of course, I have piles. Why wouldn't I have piles? Piles seems, to me, to be the next obvious step in my evolution. Psori...

A New Hopeless.

I was halfway through a blog about loud, drunk women being thrown out of a comedy club but, like The One Show, this blog has been interrupte...

Eat The Rich.

I woke up early on Saturday morning to spend the day with my friend, Phat Paul, and to celebrate his birthday. There was a time when Phat Pa...

No Means Yes.

Maybe it's just because we're going through a time of change but I've been bumping into a lot more positive people lately. There...

The Day After the 5-Day Detox.

And that's the end of that. My ridiculous and pointless 5-day detox is now over and I can return to killing myself. Phew! I cheated pret...