New Year's Revolution.

As I was leaving the park in the pitch dark on Wednesday evening I saw a woman enter. She walked down the hill from the entrance right up to...

Brown Christmas.

Snow on the ground, the air filled with magic and wonder and yet Lewisham never changes. Magic and wonder wouldn't set foot in Lewisham....

The Big Thing.

Newcastle hasn’t stopped being odd since I got here. I got off the train and saw a woman get her purse stolen. She screamed so loudly then t...

48 Hours Nicer.

I've had a nice time. I totally understand that that's not allowed but maybe the spirit of Christmas has actually decided to let me ...

Reversed, Not Reserved.

Friday was opposite day. Up was down, right was left, Tramadol Nights was clever. Things that I expected just reversed themselves. Plus it e...

People Of The World, Join Hands.

At the beginning of this year I decided I had to change my ways. Every train journey I went on infuriated me and I ended up going up to comp...

Bing Bing Bing Bong.

This is my first blog written on my brand new laptop. I've written nearly 500 blogs and almost all of them were written on my very knack...

Utterly Youthless.

Was I hard on Morgana? Maybe. It's tough watching something that just lazily throws its dung at you in the hope that you'll be happy...

Cold.

I was going to blog about yet another insult to comedy that happened just last night but I've decided against it. I haven't blogged ...

No Punchline.

Perhaps I should just stay away from Lewisham Shopping Centre. Perhaps you should too. No good happens there. In fact, it's the very hom...

Lost.

What's the fucking point in helping anyone ever? Not only are you almost certainly rushing to the aid of a prick but every prick on this...

Scream Test.

Is this supposed to be a fucking joke? How am I supposed to react? What am I supposed to do with this news and how does anyone expect me to ...

Pricks, Trains and Automobiles.

Not blogging is shit. Real life has got directly in the way of me complaining and it's a shame. It's not like the normal stupid thin...

Witch Side Are You On?

There are several people that I know that consider Hallowe'en to be their favourite time of year. They celebrate it more lavishly than t...

Reserve Judgement.

I have taken some bad train journeys in the course of my glittering career, a couple of good ones, but mainly bad ones. If you've read t...

Don't Give Me a 'Break.

Well, the Tories certainly seem to have settled in now, haven't they? I have to say, I think they're very brave. It must be so diffi...

Health & Footness.

So how is my big foot? Well, it's still big. Not as big as it was but definitely still bigger than the other one. The great thing is tha...

Hellth Centre.

May I start by saying Hello to Lewisham Hospital? Hello! They're nice people who tweeted me recently and they read the blog. Good timing...

Approach With Caution.

What do earphones do? Do they keep unwanted noise from people so that you can listen to music and not disturb others? Maybe. I think what th...

Are You Smarter Than An 18 Year Old?

What have I been doing since 1992? Have I done anything? I'm not sure. I went to America once but does that count as actually doing anyt...

She Sells Sanctimony.

There are only two things that really get on my nerves (there aren't, there are billions) and those things are religion and shit documen...