PC Gone Mad.

Train heave on to Euston. Well, Kings Cross anyway. I'm back in London and immediately it welcomed me back the way only London can. Queu...

The Last King of Everything of Scotland.

And that's that. I'm writing this on a train back to London after the final King of Everything show in Edinburgh. I'm not saying...

Nearly Done.

Only two days to go. I'm tired, drained, sick, ugly and fed up. That is definitely the spirit of the Fringe. I feel like I'm trapped...

Stupid Fucking Idiot.

I am a stupid, fucking idiot. This will not comes as news to anyone who regularly reads this blog. It's obvious that I'm stupid. All...

It's the Pinnacle of Escorting.

I haven't mentioned the show in a while. Generally, it's been great. Our Sunday show was probably my favourite so far. It was nice t...

Sleep Well Tonight.

OK, Edinburgh is winning now. I tried to beat it but it has beaten me too much. I have drunk alcohol every night since the 4th August, staye...

Sick, Sober and Sorry.

You can run but you can't hide. The cunts will find you in the end. There I was thinking that maybe I could get away with not bumping in...

Hospital Chase.

Let's start with pretty ordinary Edinburgh stuff. Firstly, our last two shows have been a bit crappy. We've got laughs and enough pe...

Positively Great.

I'm in a great mood. It's kind of why I didn't blog yesterday. I'm actually happy up here at the moment and no-one wants to ...

My Ever Changing Moods.

What a difference a day makes. I couldn't have been more depressed yesterday morning. Really questioning why I'm up here. Then when ...

Old School.

Over the past two days Johnny and I have been filming some of our sketches for Green Ink Productions. It's been a lot of fun. Fun. I rem...

Gay Shame.

I turned 41 on Wednesday and what better way to celebrate than in the company of total and utter fucking useless cunts? Lots of really nice ...

Sisters (Are Doing It For The Chippendales).

Women are fucking awful. They're fucking idiots. Don't they realise that the rise of feminism meant that they were taken seriously a...

Happy.

The last two days have been brilliant. A lot of fun can be had in Edinburgh despite the people, places and objects up here. Don't get me...

Misery.

God, I was in a horrible mood yesterday. We hadn't done any work on our show so it was exactly the same as the previous day's (you k...

My Penis and a Dead Person's Box.

Seriously. When was the last time your cock was rubbed up against a coffin? Well, that's just the kind of wacky, zany, fucking annoying ...

Party Man.

I am hungover so yesterday must have been a bit more Edinburgh. I saw abortions that slipped through the net exclaiming brilliance about the...

Day Zero.

It has begun. And by that I mean Edinburgh's classic ability to say NO to anything you want. Would the bank let me withdraw my own money...

Michael "Scratch" Legge.

I decided to have a little break from blogging just so I could store up bile for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, of which I'm currently o...