No More Mr. Nice-Guy.

I'm not nice anymore. I think I lasted nearly a week and really enjoyed the upset caused by simply being friendly and intrusively courte...

Michael Who?

Well, everyone. Glasto 09 was totally wicked! The weather was incredible and the facilities were perfect for me. No queuing, clean-ish toile...

Sham Off.

What a brilliant day for death yesterday was. Farrah Fawcet, Jeff Goldblum (although that turned out to be a hoax) and Michael Jackson, the ...

I Think We're Going To Need A Better Blog.

I'm nice now so I thought I'd do you a favour and recommend a couple of films to you. The first is a film that I beg you to see and ...

Michael Legge (Pretentio).

Actor and, in a way, comedian Michael Legge began his career back in 1971 when he used to get money from complete strangers by doing impress...

My Beautiful Laundrette.

Just a quick being nice update. Although I've generally been trying to be horribly pleasant at all times since yesterday there have only...

Nice To Be Trying.

Being nice all the time is going quite well and quite badly. It's going quite badly because, due to my nature, I keep forgetting to be n...

After You.

I've decided to try an experiment and I think it's quite a revolutionary one. I'm not going to lie to you, I've long run out...

Stop Watching.

I just tried to watch Big Brother. I failed, obviously, because I am not a massive fucking idiot. I didn't expect much but I also didn...

Can Someone Lend Me Some Funny?

It's been a fun last couple of days. Johnny, Dan Mersh and I have been working on King of Everything and have some new ideas that are go...

Cunts with Cocks.

And you know who the worst of them all was, don't you? MAN. That was a quote from a film. Don't know which one but it's bound to...

Not Going Underground.

It's all gone wrong. But where to start? Let's start with the tube drivers. I HATE TUBE DRIVERS. I haven't looked into why the t...

Classical Mistake.

I made a terrible error yesterday. They say that you should do something every day that scares you and this did scare me. It also bored the ...

London/Edinburgh/Stumpy.

What a lovely day Sunday was. Perfect, in fact. I woke up early, washed the candle wax from my hair and headed out to the Udderbelly which i...

Pathetic Don.

There are some rough gigs in this country. Some that would terrify you. There are gigs in Nottingham, Cardiff and Belfast that you just don...

Judas Dave.

You think you know someone and then they betray you. You can be best friends with a person for decades then, all of a sudden, they run off w...

Michael X.

I always get up early on voting days. It's a lovely feeling walking down the street knowing that today you're going to make a differ...

Escorts Bestcorts.

"Is there anything you actually like?" Those were the words sent to me by a fan called David Ashe after I made my feelings clear a...

I Love 1989.

Saturday was Patti's last day in London and we pretty much did the same thing we did the day before. We just wandered around Belsize Par...