Train of Fools.

Once in a while, life becomes almost worth living. Not often but definitely sometimes. Yesterday, I got on the train at Ladywell station to ...

Don't Talk To Me About People Who Are Nice.

Meeting people is not something that I would ever recommend. Often people are nice and that leads to being pleasant, which is the last thing...

The Idiot.

Even when I do nothing I get into trouble. I went to a horrible, horrible bar in The Players Theatre underneath Charing Cross station last n...

When Do I Get To Sing "My Way"?

Is there a point in watching Britain's Got Talent? Surprisingly, yes. Not every single act on the show is desperate for fame and comes a...

Olli Nollicazet.

Why isn't Otiz Cannelloni huge? It's because he's one of the funniest people in the country, isn't it? The fucking idiot. I ...

Why I?

I spent an hour drinking tea in Times Square yesterday just watching people come and go. I love New York. It's an incredible, vibrant, s...

Staring at Young Boys.

Young people are lovely, aren’t they? So fresh faced, naïve and full of spunk. On Thursday I went to a new comedy night called The Ambassado...

Would You Like Cheese With That?

Do you actually pay your TV licence fee? WELL DON'T. Look at what YOU are funding, you evil bastard. God, I hate you. If it wasn't f...

Having a Fit.

Something really weird happened to me yesterday, something a little bit out of character. There I was lying on my sofa mumbling at the TV wh...

Hanging Out The Back of Katie Price.

If there is one thing that I am not, it's a schmoozer. I don't feel the need to fake interest in people just to get slightly ahead i...

Oh, Manchester. So Much To Answer For.

Football and trannies ruined a perfectly lovely date for me and my husband, Johnny, on Saturday in Manchester. There we were being regular, ...

Leeds!

We all hate Leeds and Leeds and Leeds. Leeds and Leeds and Leeds and Leeds. Leeds and Leeds and Leeds and Leeds. We all fucking hate Leeds. ...

Boldly Fuck Off.

Today hasn't started well. I woke up way too early due to beer the night before. I felt groggy, a little hungover and very grumpy. It wa...

Lazy Legge.

I can't just go back to doing fuck all now that I'm back from holiday. It's the whole point of holiday, isn't it? You go awa...

Croatia Pt.3 - The Last Stand.

The last couple of days in my Croatia trip have been just as relaxing as the rest. I never thought that, as a man who basically does fuck al...

Croatia Pt 2.

One thing you can definitely say about the people of Croatia: They really love animals. I love animals too. So far on this trip I’ve seen Do...

Croatia Pt 1.

So, I’m in Croatia, a country I hadn’t given a single thought to until this week. I don’t really know why. It just never registered with me....

Play The Game.

Although I really enjoyed my long weekend in Edinburgh, I’m still slightly miffed at the amount of time I wasted doing nothing. It’s amazing...

Lazy Coward.

Edinburgh is a phenomenal city. Literally, phenomenal. The sun was beaming down on it all day yesterday and yet rain fell on one street. It ...

Day of the Dead.

I spent all day yesterday in a haze. A totally wasted day with me being just as wasted as it was. It was as if I'd drunk too much alcoho...

Dr. Legge.

I have been in pain for weeks. I have no idea what's up with me. I ache everywhere. Even my hair hurts. I find it hard to walk, move, br...