Youth and Old Manhood.

I'm getting old. I only found out yesterday when I was tidying up my house. I've decided to get rid of a lot of stuff that clutters ...

The Change.

All the gigs this weekend were fantastic which means I'm in a horribly good mood. Don't get me wrong, I tried to get in a bad mood. ...

The Jade Monkey.

Jade Goody: The Movie? You know what? Fuck off now. I've tried my very bestest to be kind, thoughtful and respectful about the news of J...

More Idiots.

The park is getting worse. Luckily, so is the weather so maybe these other people will stop using it for a while and give it back to us regu...

Blanked By Baby.

What is the fucking point? I was invited round to Margaret Cabourn-Smith & Dan Tetsell's flat yesterday to meet their new baby, Amy....

Fucking Idiots Enjoy Big Warm Globe in Sky.

A walk in the park is no walk in the park, I can tell you. In fact, I think I have several times. Sorry about that. I do spend a fair bit of...

Art Failure.

I feel really embarrassed today. What the fuck was I thinking yesterday when I agreed to read out blogs at WebstockY, part of the London Wor...

Too Drunk To Fuck (Chris).

I am hungover. This is my first weekend away this year and so it should be spent in a complete drunken haze with no sign of sobriety. I'...

Tom is Hard Work II.

I saw Tom again yesterday. I wasn't expecting to see him again and when I found out that I was, I felt a bit sick. This time the meeting...

Tom is Hard Work.

Yesterday, I met a cock. Now, I meet cunts all the time but it's quite rare that one bumps into a cock. Cunts are quite evil really but ...

This Is Not a Blog.

Although I will never blog again ever, if I was the sort of person who still blogged I'd probably be blogging about Stewart Lee's Co...

Finalee.

As this is my last ever blog I thought I should go out the way I came in: by being fully supportive and positive about what's happening ...

Disappointed.

I'm still trying to get my way through Comic Relief and every time I see one of their films about the despair that some people very sadl...

Mock the Weak.

Yesterday was Red Nose Day so let's start this blog with a real feel-good laugh. I have no idea how true this is but apparently last nig...

Night Vs. Day.

I don't like people. They're not very nice and they are always ugly. But they can be neatly separated into three piles. Pile one is ...

Tasty.

This is a complete sketch. This it IT. It hasn’t been edited down. This isn’t a clip of the sketch. It’s the full sketch. The beginning, mid...

Little & Wise.

I met James Corden once. It was at 8 Out Of 10 Cats and, although he came across as quite rude, he was OK in the show. Far better than I tho...

Margate.

I'm a bad dog owner. I've taken Jerk to Margate several times. She loves it. If I'm going away for any length of time my friends...

Watchlessmen.

Well, it was good. Not perfect, far from it. But it was definitely good. Last night’s King of Everything was certainly a lot better than I t...

D.O.A.

Today is King of Everything day. We'll be doing half an hour at the Hen & Chickens tonight in Islington at 9.30. You'll be there...

Virgin! Virgin! Virgin!

People who don’t like The Young Ones are instantly suspect. The only reason that you could not like The Young Ones is because, instead of bl...

Alone Again Or.

It's very lonely sitting on your own in a pub. It's not something that I'd make a habit of. Pubs should be full of friends and n...

David Mitchell is Dying of AIDS.

Wow, David Mitchell has lost a lot of weight. I was at The Blue Posts pub in Newman Street last night, with the newly reformed Trap gentleme...

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-BACK PAIN!

I saw TWO Alicia Silverstone films yesterday. TWO! I didn't know there were two. One was cancerous to the eyes, ears and understanding (...

Jaded.

I waddled down to Sainsbury’s today. My back is still being childish and it was very painful walking all the way down there, although most o...